Waiting For The Rain

The lake is so low these days, there’s a forest of driftwood trees jutting up beyond the shoreline like wooden soldiers, standing at attention, waiting for the rain to deliver some much needed relief.

Once the lake rises again, they’ll be submerged — present, but lurking under the surface.  So it is with my resolve.

Lately, every time I make a measurable advance in one of my pursuits, a drought of mind and spirit follows, seemingly sucking it dry.  I wonder if the lake is aware of this constant emptying and refilling; I know I am.

The lesson I’ve learned is to pay attention.  Previously, I thought that meant paying more attention to my pursuits.  Putting in the extra effort.  Moving forward at all costs.  Sacrificing sleep to stick with it.

Finishing what I started, and all that.

But after experiencing the gnawing fatigue of being “on duty” twenty-four hours a day while I was caring for my father, I’ve come to know that ebb and flow are good things — inevitable things.  My cup isn’t going to run over just because I think it should.

It’s okay to be tired.  As long as I take time to rest.

It’s okay to be motivated.  As long as I recognize my limits.

It’s okay to push forward.  As long as I honor my needs.

It’s okay to set aside dreams.  As long as I pursue them later.

Now I’m paying attention to the lake, observing its ebb and flow.  And like the weary wooden soldiers at the front, I, too, am waiting for the rain.

Enjoying a moment of introspection,

~ Kim

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14 thoughts on “Waiting For The Rain

  1. Kim, what an encouraging post. I’m taking to heart your wisdom “it’s okay to push forward as long as I honor my needs”–that definitely speaks to where I am right now (and will be post Alice).

    • Jenna, your fatigue level is surely 100 times more than what I’ve felt recently — that last month of pregnancy can push you to your limits! Glad to know you’ll be taking care of your needs and blessed that my post inspired you. xo

  2. I can so relate to this post today, Kim. Whenever I am in the midst of launching a program I am in “push mode” and then, when I’ve done everything I can possibly do to complete that huge task, I breathe a great big sigh of relief and give myself permission to just “be.” When I returned from my extended stay with my dad, it took weeks for me to rejuvenate and restore. I love that you have the insight to give yourself that gift.

    • Sue Ann, it appears there’s been a lot of ebb and flow going on lately. Everyone seems to have reached that maxed out point several times this year already!

      I love how you expressed self-care as a gift. Somehow it makes it more pleasurable to accept and receive (and DO) than, “I HAVE to take a break now or I’m going to fall down.” Thank you for your wisdom… for your gift.

    • Sid, as we speak, there’s a gentle, persistent downpour gracing the parched red dirt here… it’s been a long time comin’. Thank you for the thought of cleansing rain… ahhhh.

    • Uru, we finally ended up having two days in a row of rain, glorious rain! (Not a downpour, but the soft kind that makes you remember how much you’d forgotten how good it feels, smells, etc.) I’m already more upbeat! :)

  3. So well put. I can so relate to this as I have such a hard time allowing myself to ebb. I so want to flow 24 hours a day 7 days a week that in the past I’ve had the tendency to push myself until I crash, then beat myself up for not being able to keep going. My mission for the past two years has been to break the cycle. Easier said then done. I’ll just try to remember that “it’s ok…” Thank you for that.

    • Denise, as a charter member of the “crash and burn club” :), I can totally understand your actions for the past two years. Yes, it’s easier said than done, but kudos for keeping on keepin’ on!

  4. Step back, breathe, and just *be* for a while. I so know how you feel (easier to advise than follow my own advice), but the fallow periods are essential. I get sick every time I overdo it. My body takes over and shuts me down!

    Be gentle, enjoy the introspection…

    • Shanna, I’d forgotten about the word “fallow” (which is ironic, me being a farm kid and all…) I just looked up the definition: “Cultivated land left idle during a growing season.” That evoked images of intention… ideas I’ve cultivated during the past couple of years, purposely left to GROW — there’s nothing “waste-land” about it. I’m settling into “being” by the day. Thank you SO much for your comment!

    • Shirley, I loved your comment about serenity and being “mesmerized” by it. You’re right, I’m lucky to be living where I am. I’m also tickled to share it with you!

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